A look at 2 Chainz - Yuck

I know this song is old, but dangit, I was in the mood to listen to 2 Chainz, and decided to start with his first commercial album under this new title.

With that, I present the video to Yuck: (WARNING, NSFW, NUDITY)

"Cut the top off call it Amber Rose
Just bought a big body time to paint the toes
Known to act donkey on a camel toe
Then take the camel toe and turn it into casserole"

Ah, an Amber Rose reference.  Way to start off your song man.  Famous for dating Kanye West before downgrading and ending up with Wiz Khalifa, referencing her haircut is gonna look really dumb in a few years when she grows her hair back out because she's tired of looking like a big headed mannequin.  It's spun as a car reference, and then he quickly transitions into sex.  I've gotta say though, that turning the camel toe into casserole is one of the grossest references to cunnilingus I've ever heard.  Casseroles are usually meaty and cheesy, and those aren't descriptors most women like to have prescribed to their nether regions.

"2 Chainz talking on the FLX phone
Poof, just like that the whole check gone"

Ah, paid product placement (how gangsta of you Mr. Chainz!) followed up with a description of his poor money management skills.

"Former Posturepedic, I was slept on
So many chains on it look like my neck gone"

If you read my review of Birthday Song, you've read that I actually kind of like listening to 2 Chainz because there is usually at least one kind of clever line in his raps.  "Former Posturepedic, I was slept on" is filling that criteria today.

For someone named 2 Chainz, why is talking about having more chains?  I guess these are some of the reasons his check is gone so quickly.  Conspicuous consumption.

"My girl came through and brought an extra body
Now that's an after party for the after party"

He had to throw in a threesome line.  Of course.

"Two Gun Gang, all black Ferrari
His and her Armani, put it in her tummy"

Ok, breaking this down, Rap Genius tells me that Two Gun Gang is a group he was in.  Then he references a car, luxury clothes, and the size of his dick.  These are just words people.  They have no connection, and we're only listening because what 2 Chainz lacks in rhyme construction ability, he makes up for in confidence.

"And yeah, the bread good if the head good"

Is he paying a hooker, or does he just treat his girl like one.  "Hey baby, that was a great bj.  Here's a band.  Go buy yourself something nice."

"Before Benihana's it was canned goods
Before canned goods, it was Similac"

A tired, recycled from other's way of saying that he came from nothing.  You're starting to bore me.

"I'm from where they send shots then we send em back"

As an Atlantian, if he's really from College Park, then there may be some truth to 2 Chainz establishing some cred here.

"A half a million dollars worth of crack money
Wrap you parents up, now you got a black mummy"

Yet another rapper who claims to have made his initial fortunes in the drug trade.  He also threatens to kill your mother, and rap her up in black plastic bags.

"Yeah I did it, true to my religion
Two guns on me, both with extensions"

2 Chainz loves True Religion clothing, so he hits the mandatory mention.  He then lazily throws in a line about guns.

"If you on the pole, play your position
I got enough dough to pay your tuition"

A shout out to strippers.  No surprise here, he is an Atlanta based rapper.

"Corduroy Trues, with the skull cap"

Ok, another True Religion reference, mixed with the contrast of corduroy pants and a skull cap.  I... when is the last time any adult freakin' wore corduroy?!  I have pictures of me as a child wearing corduroy pants, but one reaches a certain age and stops.  Because corduroy isn't comfortable. It makes a grating sounds when you walk.  Past the age of 6, you can only wear corduroy as jacket, and only then if you're a professor!

"I just woke up, tell me where the drugs at
And after the drugs, where the girls at
And after the girls, where the love at
And if it ain't no love, I'm like f*** that
N**** I'm do dope you could catch a f***ing contact"

So here we see how 2 Chainz starts his days.  No balanced breakfast for him. It's wake and bake, at the very least, since drugs could refer to pretty much anything. Then it's sex, and then he looks for love.  You know, a lot of people don't find that love follows drug fueled sex.  It's usually good to take her on some dates, get to know one another, you know, that traditional stuff.  Otherwise, it's just a relationship based on your drugs clouding you view of her, and your money money clouding her view of you.

Then since he needed to complete the verse, he throws in the tired reference to being able to catch a contact buzz by being around him because he reeks of marijuana.

Now, you may be wondering why the song is called "Yuck."  The only reference to the word comes in Lil' Wayne's trash chorus, in which he has the line "She said she on her period, I said 'yuck.'"  I'm not even going to break down his chorus.  This is typical Lil' Wayne.  Bad b****, check. Codeine, check. Weed, check. Guns, check.  We all know what to expect from him at this point.  He reached a zenith on Dedication 2, and it's been downhill ever since.

Verse 2 from 2 Chainz is the same old thing.

I've got a gun
I'm sipping codeine
Reference to attractive women
Whack line (off the meat rack?  Really?)
Weed, weed, and more weed
Expensive Jewelry
Nice car
Screwing a woman who has a lame baby daddy
And if said baby daddy acts up, I will kill him
Buying a nice watch, and a nice car
Then I'll go to church!
We get money from drugs
Then your girl, who is a hoe, well, my friends and I will pass her back and forth.
Mention of 26 inch rims (didn't mentioning rim size end with the Big Tymers? If not, it should have)
Another mention of stealing your girl

We get Lil' Wayne's foolishness again, and the track ends.


To be honest, I like the orchestral sound of the beat.  It's a good way to start the album.  It's just that 2 Chainz is contrived, corporate trap music.  You could generate a song using an Urban Dictionary plugin.  I imagine that is somewhere out there online.

Some reflections on Five Iron Fandom

Five Iron Frenzy is my favorite band of all time.  Ahead of everyone from classic groups like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin to teenage favorite like Zao and Project 86.  It's one of those "what's your favorite (fill in the blank)?" questions I can answer with ease.

I started listening to FIF in 1998.  I was the the Family Christian Bookstore in the Savannah Mall, and found the album at one of the listening stations.  The unique cover art convinced me to pop the disc into the player they had and slide on the headphones.  "My Evil Plan to Save the World" was piped into my ears, and I walked out of the store with a CD in my hand and a little less cash in my wallet.  I couldn't wait to get home and pop that sucker in and listen to it as loud as I was allowed.  I had heard the Supertones before, from my cousin who I always thought was much cooler than I was, but this was something else.  This was ska with wit, brain, and a sense of humor.

That album helped me realize just how much music can connect people who have never met before.  A month of so after it came out, my youth group went on a ski trip.  There were a bunch of youth groups at this ski resort, and in the ski lounge they had karaoke.  I distinctly remember a guy getting up there and in the middle of some random song, he belted out "THESE ARE NOT MY PANTS!" and people all over the lounge had one of two reactions.  Baffled puzzlement, or laughter and recognition.  Here was another person who likes this band I like.  He's throwing out a line, like a little gang sign that only fans are going to understand.

I felt that comradery next at my first Five Iron Show.  I was visiting an uncle in north Georgia to work for a few weeks in his pharmacy.  My dad drove me up, and upon getting there I met my uncle, his wife, and his two daughters.  They were super cool punk rock chicks (who introduced me to The Dead Milkmen and Mustard Plug), but they cemented themselves as awesome in my books when they informed me that they were going to the Five Iron show that night with their friends, and that I should come along.  Their group of friends and I had never met, but there was this instant connection as we sang along, skanked, and then hung out afterwards and talked to strangers and band members alike.  I remember my cousin giving a "high W" to the lead singer of the W's, and being scandalized by the fact that a member of FIF was wearing a NOFX hat. (At that time I was of a very black and white, secular music is evil mind frame).  I still have the sticker they handed out that night for signing my name and being a background singer for the "Live: Proof That The Youth are Revolting" album.

I attended three other concerts by the band, including their stop at the Murray Hill Theater on the Winners Never Quit Tour.  I was wearing the shirt from that tour one evening last year at a sports bar after attending a Falcons game.  The waiter for my table took a moment to stop and say how that was an awesome shirt and how much he loved the band.  I asked if he had seen them in concert, and he said he only started listening a few years ago, long after the band broke up.  Imagine his surprise when I told him about the Kickstarter, new album, and planned tour.  It was one of those awesome moments I haven't had wearing the t-shirt of any other band.

Five Iron fandom is a kind of fraternity, and one of the most accepting and loving groups of people I've seen.  It was great seeing this in Atlanta when they came through this year.  I didn't have any friends who wanted to go to the show with me, so I stood in line thinking it was going to be a long wait.  I was fully prepared to pop in my headphones and sit until they opened the doors.  I don't know why I was so cynical that night.  In line I listened to stories of people who had driven hours to come see FIF live.  People who had flown to Colorado for their last show.  People who had never had a chance to see them perform live because they only started listening after the breakup.  I was able to share my stories of concerts, of foolishly yelling for "Kingdom of the Dinosaurs" and the other goofy songs from days of yore.  And for a few hours there, in a crowd of people I had never met, I was surrounded by friends.  People who knew every line to every song, enjoyed every on stage antic, and even though we knew it was coming, choked up and maybe cried a little bit when the familiar riff of "Every New Day"started up.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10 for May 4th

1 P!nk - Just Give Me a Reason (ft. Nate Ruess)

P!nk has gotten on my bad side from time to time, but she never fully goes into my ignore pile.  This song is very solid.  It has an 80's ballad feel, which is a nice change from the end of the world, eurotrash, dubstep pop songs from pretty much every other female pop star. P!nk is a solid enough singer here, and Ruess works well within the confines of his voice.  If I heard this over and over on the radio I'm sure I'd hate it, but because I don't hear it with anything but self inflicted frequency I'm still enjoying it.

2 - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (ft. Ray Dalton)

One hit single, and he's feeling himself.  I'm for confidence, but this type of boasting usually comes with album number two, not song two.  Why is this a near chart topper?  Macklemore sounds like he's having fun rapping, and we haven't heard that in commercial hip-hop in a long time.  The exuberance he exhibits spitting is matched by a fantastic beat.  The horns and "oohhhooo"s seem to scream for a guest verse from Cee-Lo (in his Cee-Lo Green is the Soul Machine era). 


3 - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (ft. Wanz)

Macklemore has fun and shops where you shop.  In small doses, this song is great fun.  I really like the beat, and guest vocalist Wanz nails the hook.  There has been praise and scorn alike heaped on this track, and this late in the game I don't have anything new to add to it.


I just have to say as an aside, Macklemore feels a bit like he ripped his style from Houston MC Playdough.  A white guy rapping about thrift shopping? Playdough covered that awhile ago.  Go check him out.  As a Wu-Tang fan, I recommend the Red, White, and Wu mixtape.

4 - Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

Another retro 70's throwback track from our modern crooner.  When Bruno first starting hitting the charts I really enjoyed the throwback to another era.  Earnest (if slightly corny) love songs were a nice change of pace from the dreck on the radio at the time.  That was a few years ago now, and Bruno is still churning out the same style of song.  That wouldn't be an issue, except that he hasn't grown as a songwriter (or maybe his songwriters are stale.  I don't know if he writes his own music, and at the moment I'm too lazy to go to wikipedia and look it up).  Overall it's not bad, just boring.  If this were a debut track from a new artists, it wouldn't be charting.

5 - PSY - Gentlemen  

Proof that lightening doesn't strike twice! Gangnam Style was silly, but the silly abandon and goofy video made it a global hit and earned PSY millions.  Gentleman lacks the innocent silliness of Gangnam Style.  Instead in the video we're treated to scenes of PSY being a jerk.  I guess the money has gone to his head.  Since I don't speak Korean, I think the video is more fun to watch and pretend that PSY is Kim Jong-un, and no one does anything to stop him from wafting farts into people's faces because they know that dissent equals death.  This is only charting because people are checking out the YouTube video.  This is gone from the charts in just a few weeks, max.  Good riddance.

6 - Rihanna - Stay (ft. Mikky Ekko)

Four minutes of plodding, monotone piano, a no-name guest vocalist, and Rihanna's singing.  The Rihanna name pretty much equals hit for the past few years, and I'll say that a song from her that doesn't mention her rampant partying and drug use is nice.  It's not an especially great track, but now that video views count in chart positioning, this track is going to be better than it would have otherwise.  There's lots of dudes (and chicks) who will watch the video to see Rihanna in the bathtub.  Sex still sells.

7 - Justin Timberlake - Mirrors

I did an album review and covered this track.  Go check that out.

8 - Justin Timberlake - Suit and Tie (ft. Jay-Z)

Second verse, same as the first.

9 - Pitbull - Feel This Moment (ft. Christina Aguilera)

What do you get when you misappropriate a "Take on Me" sample, drop in the same boastful verse from Pitbull, and let Christina Aguilera phone it in with a weak hook?  This song!  Pitbull makes music for drunk college douchebags.  He's not exactly talented.  Christina can sing, but doesn't show it here.  

10 - Drake - Started from the Bottom

Watching Drake prance and strut in this video makes it all the more obvious that he is playing a joke on the public and laughing all the way to the bank.  He seems to be in as much disbelief at his success as the rest of us.  He was in the public eye as a teen, and doesn't seem to have known any real struggle.  Even his lyrics in this song don't reflect anything like hardship.  

Putting out his mixtapes he did show some real hustle and initiative, but then he hooked up with Lil Wayne and that seems like putting your career's success on autopilot.  

Lyrically it's booorrring.  "Started from the bottom now we here" repeated over and over.  The hilarious thing is his cries of not wanting any fake friends, and then having a video filled with groupies and folks who clearly only care to be around Drake and his homies because of the money.  Way to not have a video that matches the lyrics.

The low-key beat is fine, but it sounds more like an album interlude than a full blown track.

Billboard Top 100 part 5 (80-76)

Number 80:

B.o.B. - So Good

B.o.B., rap kinda wunderkind.  Briefly heralded as a breath of fresh air, he seems to have slipped into a bit of obscurity.  It's too bad, he shows some real pop-rap chops here.  This isn't a particularly memorable track, but the hopeful beat and B.o.B.'s sing-songy flow make this a nice, chill track.  If I had a convertible, this would have been one to play with the top down in the summer, singing along to the "na na nas."

Number 79:
Rihanna - Birthday Cake (feat. Chris Brown)

Nauseating. Irritating. Feel free to supply your own adjective.  Without Brown's verse, this was a throwaway snippet on the Talk That Talk album.  Not enough substance for a real song, just Rihanna trying to stir a birthday cake into a cauldron of sultry lust.  With Brown's verse it's a gross reminder of an awful guy beating a young woman who turns around and reunites with the abuser.  There's nothing attractive about it.  Brown classes up the joint by starting his verse by saying "I want to f*** you right now."  Gross.  The controversy of the on again, off again nature of the couple is the only thing that drove it this high on the charts.

Number 78:
Kirko Bangz - Drank in My Cup

I previously had the pleasure of reviewing Kirko Bangz previous track What Yo Name Iz?, and Mr. Bangz hasn't changed his formula.  He profits from the fact that people will ignore lyrics for a decent beat.  Take a moment to listen to the words.  The song is about a woman who continually cheats on her significant other with Kirko here.  It's a tired, old story of borrowing a woman and having no strings attached sex.  This passes for entertainment?

Number 77 :
Trey Songz - Heart Attack

First impressions: opening of the song sounds like an NES game.  Then Trey starts with his so-so singing, an also ran R&B dude.  It's incredibly nondescript.  This could have been sung by anyone really.  Like a lot of current songs, it's not bad per say.  It's just boring.

Number 76:
Kenny Chesney - Come Over
Schmaltzy "I miss you" country.  Blah.

Album Review: Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience

By request, I'm reviewing the nearly platinum selling new album from one Mr. Justin Timberlake.  It been a long time since we've heard any music from the man, he took a break from music to star in number of mediocre to okay movies.  Personally, I kind of dug Timberlake's two prior albums.  Solid production from Timberland and The Neptunes helped him churn out solid tracks that pleased pretty much everyone.  She might not have done it when you were around, but I bet your own mom knew SexyBack.

I'm coming in to this review totally fresh.  I haven't even heard Suit & Tie, aside from a snippet on a Bud Light Platinum commercial.

We start out with track 1 "Pusher Love Girl," continuing the "love is like a drug" theme from the last album (ex LoveStoned).  Unimpressive lyrics and a chorus sung in Timberlake's falsetto, leading to a snooze of a bridge.  This is an unimpressive start to the album.  The production is nice, but it's kind of dull.  It also clocks in at a self indulgent eight minutes long.  That's approaching Mars Volta song length.  Around five minutes it switches up and sounds a bit more... fun, but it's still nothing special.  This is the loop that the live band plays as they're being introduced near the end of the concert before they break into their little solos.

On to track 2, "Suit & Tie."  I could do without the first 45 seconds of the track.  Slowed down vocal samples are tired.  Getting past that, I can see why it was picked as the first single.  This is an enjoyable track.  Very Robin Thicke, which is ok by me, since Mr. Thicke has been carrying on the mantle of blue eyed soul since Timberlake disappeared.  Jay-Z's verse isn't great, he sounds kind of bored and the lyrics sounds recycled from other verses he's dropped.  I guess an appearance by a rapper is a requirement these days, since Justin has to show he's still "down," especially after the whole Janet Jackson Super Bowl debacle.

"Don't Hold The Wall" is the first track that has hallmarks of the classic Timberland sound in the beat (in this case, his voice appearing as part of the beat).  This track is a style departure from the prior two tracks, with a cool drum and Indian female singing sample that give it a nice feel.  Right until around 4:45.  The song should have ended before the "How do you like it" voice samples cuts in.  I think I'm going to see a trend of these songs just going on for too long.  These tracks average out to around 7 minutes apiece.  I'm not against longer songs, but on an R&B/pop album, I'm looking for concise tunes that don't wear out their welcome.  These track so far have made me want to hit next around minute 5.

Track four is "Strawberry Bubblegum."  Starts off wasting 45 seconds with a pointless intro, before heading into a track that threatened to put me to sleep.  There's nothing interesting here.  It's a great track to catch a nap to.  Like I predicted, at minute 5 it breaks into an organ jam that sounds like it belongs to another song.  Wikipedia says this album was put together in 20 days, and it sounds like it.  Maybe shave some time off of these tracks, turning the extra 3 minutes tacked on to the ends of these songs into other songs so it looks a little more substantial time wise.

"Tunnel Vision" sounds like an update on the Timberland/Timberlake team ups that shot Justin to solo stardom.  Why isn't THIS a single?  This is the first track I actually like, though it too could stand to be cut off around the 4:30 mark.  These extended length songs don't show off any singing or songwriting prowess.  They seem like the producers screwing around and trying to show off.

The track "Spaceship Coupe" has a smooth synth line underneath the tired space metaphor.  Timberlake isn't screwing aliens like Katy Perry, but he's playing with this trope.  If any track was crying out for a rap guest first, I think it is this one.  Trite lines seem to be a comfortable lane for most popular rappers today.  I can see this being a single after "Mirrors."  Like every other track though, it needs around 2 minutes chopped off at the end.

Now we come to the shortest track on the album "That Girl."  Now this truly sounds like it could have an extra two minutes granted to the rest of the tracks and it would have been welcome.  A joyous, old school horn section blows over a jangly guitar riff.  This track sounds like summer.  A definite stand out.

We're finally approaching the end of the album with "Let The Groove Get In."  While I'm a fan of the beat, the opening minute and it's repetition kill the buzz it creates.  Timberlake is polite enough to ask if I'm comfortable, but doesn't seem like he really wants to hear my answer.  For the record, the answer is no. I'm not comfortable with the faux shouts on your chorus.   This far in, I want to rename this album to "The 2 Minute/ Too Long Experience."

"Mirrors" is the second single off of the album, and I don't see why this was picked over "Tunnel Vision."  It sounds like a leftover from Justified.  It's not bad per say, it just sounds... dated.  I can see a shortened version being popular at weddings.  Again with the self-indulgent, padded tracks that don't need to be as long as they are.  Too many of these tracks overstay their welcome.

"Blue Ocean Floor" closes things out with a spacey, rambling track that, minus Timberlake's vocals, wouldn't be out of place in a trendy indie game.  It sounds like an overextended interlude, not the ending track on a disc that is supposed to be a long awaited return to music after a hiatus.

There are a few good tracks here so I wouldn't say the album is bad, I'd just say it's skippable.  There's nothing exciting or great here.  It's a collection of mostly too long tracks, and Timberlake isn't exactly the greatest vocalist or lyricist.  Enjoy the singles on the radio, but save your money.  I think after week one sales, this one is going to fall pretty hard sales wise.

Like the album?  Buy it from Amazon!
The 20/20 Experience [+digital booklet]

Billboard Top 100 part 4 (84-81)

Number 84:

Chris Brown - Turn Up The Music

A further showcase of the public pretty much supporting anything from some artists.  If half of Rihanna or Chris Brown's songs were from other acts they wouldn't be half as popular, but Breezy has an idiotic army of fans who support any song he puts out and defend anything he does in the public eye.  I don't like Chris Brown, and that dislike just makes this terrible dance track worse than it already is.

Nothing special here.  Beat that could have gone to any number of artists, lyrics that could have come from anyone.  This is another one of those tracks that totally missed me during the year, and for this I am glad.

Number 83:
Selena Gomez & the Scene - Love You Like a Love Song

First impressions. This isn't terrible.  I'm not going to put it on purposefully, but I'm not going to race to turn it off.  It reminds me Lovefool by The Cardigans, only with a bit of dubstep thrown in.

Number 82:
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

Can this track overcome my general dislike of country?  It's a novelty song, and I've got no issue with those showing up on charts.  It's construction kind of reminds me of "If I Had a Million Dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies.  It's not an earworm like you might expect from a song on the Hot 100, but it's one of the more enjoyable songs on the chart so far.

Number 81:
Train - 50 Ways to say Goodbye

Train has always been an innocuous band that showed up every few years with a popular track and the disappeared again until it was time for them to strike again.  The last track they had that really did well on the charts was the terrible "Hey, Soul Sister."  That track was so bad it cast their past stuff in a bad light for me.  This track actually kind of redeems them for me.  It's corny, but I love the mariachi sound in the track.  The trumpet makes me think of the band Cake.  Now, I'd rather listen to Cake, but since they're not on this chart, I'll take a song that makes me think of them.

A little housekeeping

I don't want to break any rules, so I'm going to say:

Jason Maxwell is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.


Essentially folks, the amazon links in my posts to the songs I talk about give me a little kick back if you buy through them.