Melanie Fiona - 4am

What is this crap?

"It's 4 AM and my lover won't answer
He's probably somewhere with a dancer
Sippin' champagne while I'm in his bed"

You know what that means?  He's not yours.  Or yours alone anyway.  Why are you still in his bed?  Go to a friend's house!

Look, I understand songs bemoaning a cheating lover, but this is freakin' dumb.

"Standing here and I'm getting heated
Pour me up a drink I swear I need it
I think I'ma about
About to hurt somebody
Swear this man is begging me to leave him
Getting sick of being so mistreated
Another night without
Without his arms around me"

If he's BEGGING you to leave him, then LEAVE!  Gah!  Why do you want his arms around you if he's hanging with dancers at 4am?  Stupid, stupid, stupid.


Why lament the death of a relationship with a cheater?  Why get pissed over a worthless dude?  I don't understand this.  Ladies, does this song reflect reality for you?

Flo Rida - Good Feeling

Did you all know that Flo Rida is a big Lady Gaga fan?
Seriously... listen to this:

This beat sounds like a rejected "Just Dance" remix.  Here's a Youtube video of someone who mashed the songs together:

An Etta James sample... hmm... around the same time as "Otis", with it's Otis Redding Sample...

Fade away Flo Rida.  Please.  Right round unleashed Ke$ha on the world.  You're partially to blame for that torrent of evil.  You're Nelly for this decade.  Some ok party singles, but a quick fade.  Until you do a song with Tim McGraw.

November 22 can't come soon enough

Visit http://fiveiron.co

on Nov. 21 at 7:00 p.m. MST

for an exclusive sneak peak

of the Nov. 22 announcement.

No Password Needed. 

Live audio blog

http://flipzu.com/jvmaxwell

The Billboard 100 Top 10 for the Week of October 22

My Master's degree program has gotten off to an awesome start (All A's thus far).  I got ahead on my work for the week, and since I have a little free time, I wanted to do a little writing.  Since I haven't been listening to the radio much lately, I've decided to turn to the Billboard 100.  I'm gonna give the top 10 songs a listen and share my thoughts.

1) Adele - Someone Like You

I honestly don't care for this song.  I could get behind Rolling in the Deep, but this is just droll rolling piano and a song about lost love.  A bit of a snoozer really.

2) Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger (ft. Christina Aguilera)

Adam Levine, you might be able to imitate Jagger's moves on stage, but your wimpy rock is nothing like the Rolling Stones.  They were rebels in their day.  You make safe, by committee music designed to showcase your falsetto.  Christina Aguilera turns in a verse, but who cares at this point?  She's filler to make the song a minute longer.  Her voice isn't used to good effect here.

I've seen Maroon 5 live.  I worked for Cumulus Media, and they played a company party.  I feel sorry for the dudes in the band.  They're all average joes, playing bland, unobjectionable music that gets their lead singer laid all the time, while they get stuck with his rejects and leftovers.  That's what I imagine happens anyway.


3) Foster the People - Pumped up Kicks
I've heard buzz about this song, and based on my first listen... crap.  I like the intro, I like the music.  I just can't stand the singing.  The bad effect on the vocals in the verse are only slightly less annoying than the verse.  Why is this blowing up?  Hipsters?  An attempt to like something weird? That happens every few years (ie the popularity of the Polyphonic Spree back years ago).


4) LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It
What the heck did I just watch?

That has to be the most homo-erotic music video ever.

I actually dig the techno-esque beat behind the song.  If I heard it on the radio I wouldn't really care about this song one way or the other.  But the video.... I don't want to see a dozen dudes in speedos.  What is wrong with the dudes in LMFAO.  Barry Gordy, what hath your progeny wrought?!

5) Gym Class Heroes - Stereo Hearts (ft. Adam Levine)
Adam Levine sounds like a whiny middle schooler on this track.  His voice... the screwdriver is approaching my ear.
"Sentimental" rap with a pop hook. This isn't the best example of this particular style, mostly because the rapper here is average at best.  His flow fits the song, but the metaphors are weak.

6) LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem
I talked about this one on my Top 10 roundup back in June.  Months later it's still on the charts.  Yeesh, seems like more and more people are shuffling every day.

7) Rihanna - We Found Love (ft. Calvin Harris)
I surprisingly tame track from Rihanna content wise.  (Though she did stir up controversy where there would be none by getting kicked off a farm in Ireland for getting naked while filming this video).
A nice down tempo euro-club beat and Rihanna doing a decent approximation of singing make for a  somewhat listenable track.  This seems to have been produced for the sole purpose of making it into DJ sets.  I can hear the beat can briding all kinds of tracks.  I didn't hear a male on the track, so I'm guess Calvin Harris was the producer here.  I could go research it, but nah.  I'd rather get yelled at in the comments.

8) David Guetta - Without You (ft. Usher)
More euro-club trash beats from David Guetta.  The Usher name has to be what's carrying this track.  A dull beat supports Usher just kinda being melodramatic.  "Withoutttttttt yoouuuuuuu" 

9) Cobra Starship - You Make Me Feel... (ft. Sabi)
This sounds almost exactly like "DJ Got Us Fallin In Love" by Pitbull.  Meh.  Sabi is the equivalent of the chick no one remembers from "Give my Everything."

10) Lady Gaga - You and I
I don't really care for Lady Gaga.  There's nothing wrong with this song, it's well constructed I guess.  I just can't stand the persona of the singer in question.

Rick Ross - You the Boss (ft. Nicki Minaj)

I went in to this song excited.  I figured we'd get a Tony Danza cameo, or maybe they'd throw Alyssa Milano on the track, but NOOOOOO.  Instead we get another lame Rick Ross "I'm a boss" garbage:

The problems on the track are all over the place.  I'm on record with not being a fan of Nicki Minaj's singing, and the auto tune they throw on her here does her zero favors.  The submissive "I'll do anything that you say" line from her doesn't jive with her independent hyper-sexualized in charge public persona.  Nicki adds zero to this track.  Maybe Wayne owed Ross a favor and dropped her on the track so that Officer Ricky is putting YMCMB out there when he drops Maybach Music singles. 

Right now Ross is on multiple tracks with Wayne (9 Piece, John) and the two of them appear along with Drake in "I'm on One."  Market over saturation guys.

Ross' flow is weak on this track.  He sounds as bored rapping as I am listening.  Nicki sounds robotic, not like her normally animated self.  C.O. Rick needs to stick to doing street music.  With a bangin' beat behind him he's very listenable.  Trying to brag over a low key beat that sounds like it's supposed to be mildly introspective isn't his thing. 

The best song about being a boss is right here:

OFF TOPIC: Let's be real for a minute/ Airing out an idiot

I like to keep things light hearted.  This is a blog about awful pop music.  However, I wanted to take this forum to air something out real quick.


Troy Davis was executed last night.  Convicted for murdering a police officer in Savannah in 1989.  I wasn't on the jury, I didn't hear all of the evidence, and I'm not going to speculate over his guilt or innocence.  However, multiple witnesses recanting their testimony (some of them alleging police intimidation) make me think a retrial was in order.  I'm not against the death penalty, but when there was this much doubt cast on the prior sentencing, I don't think it was justice to take his life without examining the facts.

Looking through FB, there are some very cavalier attitudes about this case.  "He was convicted by a jury, he killed a cop, he deserves it!"  People saying "you hopped on the bandwagon, you didn't care before."  As though I'm not allowed to be outraged by an execution where there seems to be reasonable doubt now?  I saw Casey Anthony walk away scott free a few months ago, and this man can't get a retrial in light of everything the witnesses said? 

What really took the cake for me was an exchange a friend's younger brother and some of his friends had.  Said individual is of mixed white and Hispanic parentage, and feels because of this that throwing around the n word is ok.  I thought of his immediately when I saw this article a few days ago about youth today indiscriminately throwing out slurs online.  I present this unedited exchange because it pissed me off.  I'll edit out last names just for the sake of being polite.

Gavin A P: Is Troy Davis a football player or something?

(Note: someone "liked" this status)

 

Imani T: He was a man the was convicted of killing a cop though evidence supported otherwise.

Gavin A P: Oh, you mean the guy you didn't know about until JUST now?

Josh G: Evidence supported he did it. You guys are seriously stupid as hell.

Josh G: Not even trolling. This is the dumbest Internet fad ever

Gavin A P:  He just wanted to listen to Body Count in private. :(

Josh G:  Hehe

Imani T: Actually no. I've known about this for a while. Its always been a big topic in my family. And the evidence doesn't support it. No weapon, no physical evidence.

Gavin A P: Of course, when confronted with a remark that includes you in the bandwagon, you're going to say you've known about it for a while. My question is: WHO GIVES A FUCK?! Are you going to kill a cop? Are you going to be anywhere near a cop killing? This has no bearing on yours, or anyone else's life. GTFO.

Josh G: You're the reason people like oj and Casey Anthony get away with murder. His fingerprints were on multiple things used to kill. He lied multiple times and was given many chances to tell the truth. He sucks, he obviously did it. It's clear as day he did it. Accept it and move on

Gavin A P: FREE BOOSIE

Imani T: Ha thanks for thinking so highy of me Gavin. I do actually care. Its a civil rights thing and I'm sorry if you don't get it. 7 people recanted their statesments, statements that ultimately led to his conviction. And as far as OJ and casey, I think they both are without guilty. And the evidence with them backs it up.. so don't make assumptions. and fuck boosie. He's guilty as shit.

Josh G: Yeah but Casey Anthony is white

Gavin A P: How is this civil rights related in the least?! Get the fuck out of here with the whole "racist" bullshit. HE KILLED A FUCKING COP. With someone whose father went to the police academy, such as myself, someone who wants to be a cop, such as myself, I don't give a fuck if he was blue, he's a fucking faggot who deserved that needle in his fucking arm.

Imani T: You're point? Sorry there was a typo. I think casey and oj are without a doubt guily.

Thomas T: What about claims of police pressure and lying under oath? Could he have done it? Yes and no, neither party had enough to prove/disprove anything. He could have just stayed in jail but killing with out undisputed facts is inherently a breaking of a civil right. But, yes it is bandwagony at the moment, but at the end of it civil rights were broken today which is annoying, but I have a longer reason for that.

Imani T: Your*

Josh G: Well it's kinda good they got rid of him that's one less black person, no offense but you guys are kinda over populating America right now

Gavin A P: Free Gucci           

Imani T: Gavin, its not race! I've never been one to claim any kind of race. There wasn't enough to prove guilt or innocence. That's the civil rights part.

Gavin A P: What's more humane, killing someone instantaneously, or letting then rot in prison?

Daniel T: I do not consider this to be a race( a now all but obsolete term outside of common vernacular) issue in the slightest, while I think that there should have been an investigation into the claims of police pressure/perjury before executing the man. However, to insinuate that this was done simply because he was an African American is complete bullshit and ignorant.

Gavin A P: Back to my original point: you're not going to change it. Who gives a fuck, blah blah blah

Imani T: And I agree with Daniel. I never said it was race related. Maybe its assumed because I'm black I automatically play the race card but that's not the case. Things should have been investigated farther.

Gavin A P: FREE CANDY

Thomas T:  Civil rights as in the rights we have as in civilians and citizens. They ignored a law set forth hundreds of years ago. The race thing doesn't matter, but of course people made it that way.

Gavin A P: FREE INTERNET/CABLE PACKAGE WITH COMCAST     

Thomas T: Yell your way out.

Gavin A P: Bleed it out, dig it deeper just to show you the way

Josh G:  I like how the guy defending him is black

Thomas T: Also, Troy Davis is a football player in the Cfl.

Josh G: Leroy davis

Thomas T: Leeroy Jenkins     

Guess whose back, back again

School isn't as time consuming as I thought it would be, so I have time to blog again!

Today's object of derision?  Lil' Wayne

How to Love?  FOR REAL?!  Wayne kind of sings song about a woman who was abused growing up and had problematic relationships as a result.  Not terrible subject matter, but I can't help but think that Drake wrote the track for Wayne to show his softer side.  It doesn't fit with every other song that Lil' Wayne has put out. 

The single that came out before "How to Love" was "John."

Let's look at a lines from "John"
"I'm f*cking her good, she got her legs on my neck
I get p*ssy, mouth and *ss, call that b*tch triple threat"

Wayne sure does love women, doesn't he?   Why is anyone taking this song seriously?  In real life, how many baby momma's Wayne have?  A man who can't commit to any woman is going to write a song trying to teach women about kind men who will take care of them after a lifetime of terrible boyfriends?


Point blank, Lil' Wayne cannot sing.  This song is incongruous with the rest of his body of work AND what we know of his private life.  This one peaked at 22 on the Billboard 100, but I'm reading it repeatedly on the radio, and frankly... it's driving me insane.   How did this mess sell 964,000 copies in it's first week?

Updates are going to be few and far between for awhile.

How long is awhile?  About a year.

I'm bummed to have to write this, but I'm starting a Master's program in a few weeks.  Between attending classes and studying, I will not have as much time to keep an ear out for tracks to skewer and even less time to write about the songs.

Now, if I hear anything exceptionally bad I will be sure to share it here.  I do intend to keep my hobby of ripping bad songs going.  It's just going to be less consistent than it has been in the past few weeks.

If you hear a song and want to write about it, shoot me an email  todaysbadsong@gmail.com and I'll be happy to post your write up and credit you.

Good Tunes Thursday MC Lars - Indie Rocket Science

Anyone who has read my blog for awhile might think I hate rap music.  That's not true.  I just hate most of the crap that is on the radio these days.  I like rap that does something different.  And this mixtape is a perfect example.

"You can tell it's a mixtape because of the ridiculous echo effect on my voice!"

Starting off your mixtape with making fun of mixtapes.  With some artists that would just be a flop of a joke, but Lars is aware of both of hip-hop culture and his unique place in it.  While post-punk laptop rap isn't a genre that garners world-wide fame like, say Lil' Wayne's ridiculous rhyming, Lars is content to stay in his lane and experience niche success.

Guest appearances range from nerdcore genre alums MC Frontalot and mc chris to KRS-One, one of the godfathers of hip-hop music.

Content wise, it's all over the map.  A celebration of hip-hop? Check.  An ode to t-shirt sales (over Wiz Khalifa's Black and Yellow)? Check.  A alien abduction song, and then an Edgar Allen Poe referencing track? Check and check.

MC Lars isn't like anyone you listen to.  He's talented, lyrical, and hilarious.  I'm not good at reviewing albums, but I want to give my strongest recommendation for the Indie Rocket Science Mixtape.  I've been listening to MC Lars since the Laptop EP, when we played iGeneration on WVVS 90.9 FM in Valdosta.  It's awesome to have an artist who has been consistently putting out awesome material.

This mixtape is a perfect way to get into Lars, as it's being given away as a free download here. 

If you like it, be sure to pick up any of his albums.  His current release is Lars Attacks! Having just finished my initial listen, I will definitely be giving it a recommendation in a future post.

Shawty Lo - Pocahontas (ft. Wale and Twista)

"She poke that thang out like Pocahontas"

I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE STUPID SONG!

Just listen to this track.  The titular "Pocahontas" is a girl who looks half Indian, and by dancing, she can make it rain!  Get it?! Because Native Americans could perform ceremonial rain dances.  Except in this case she's talking about making it rain money. 

Isn't tasteless racism amazing?! 

Next!

"F*** high school, mother f***er I'm high"

What a wonderful role model.  Yes, in an country where we have large numbers of young men dropping out of high school and ending up stuck in dead end jobs or the prison system, let's espouse the ideal that education is stupid, and instead encourage taking drugs! 

Shawty Lo, if you know how to read, why don't you open a book, newspaper, or maybe even pull up a website like The Grio, and read about the devastating effects that a lack of education is having upon the youth in America (especially minority youth).

The rest of his verse is just borrowed lines about rubber bands, doing it with no hands... boring.


Twista pops in talking about Puerto Ricans having the best hair. 
/Rant mode/
I just... do we really need to hash out "better" grades of hair in a song?  Can you not just appreciate without touting it as the best?  Women are sensitive about hair, black women especially so.  There have been reams written about relaxers versus natural hair, attempting to conform to a Eurocentric standard of beauty, and this really isn't the place for such a discussion, but I honestly wish that comments like this, or talk of preferring "light skinned" "yellow bone" or "red bone" women.  Beautiful women come in all shades.  Let's just agree on that.
/Rant over/

Twista's verse is kind of lame.  He doesn't really do much of his trademark fast and clever rapping.  Instead he just spouts the same crap everyone else spouts during their stripper anthems, but at a higher tempo.  We know you can do better Twista.

I'll give props to Wale's flow on this song.  It has a weak beat, but he turns in a good sounding performance.  Light on the content given the subject matter, but at least his delivery is on point.


So yeah, pretty weak blip bloop beat, trite subject matter... all the elements it needs to be a mass market hit! 

Here's hoping one will make a quick fade off the airwaves.

Pitbull - Something for the DJ's

This song sounds like that crappy DJ who spins at midnight to 3am, and you hear their set through a bit of static because you're driving and the signal isn't that great.  It manages to keep you awake and lull you to sleep at the same time.

Can we work together to make this midget go away?

One Republic - Good Life (ft. B.o.B.)

I think great music is about passion.  This song, unsurprisingly, totally lacks that.

With a vocal style that can only be described as "meh," this song just inspires sleepiness.  It's annoyingly mellow.

Annoying is the best word to describe this song.  There's just a number of factors I can't quite describe that come together and lead me to register strong dislike.

A Double Shot of Miguel - Sure Thing & Quickie

So, back a few posts I kind of said this song was growing on me. 

My, my, times have changed.

THIS DUDE CAN'T SING!

The more I hear it, the more I rip apart his poor performance here.  He's clearly got some robo-voice technology going on, and it doesn't help.  The beat is still kind of smooth and alright, but he sounds like an American Idol audition taped at home covering 90's R&B. 

I want to hear someone with a better voice sing this.  I want to hear an ironic hipster acoustic guitar cover.  ANYTHING but Miguel singing.  Why was this chosen as a single?!  It would be a stupid move by his label if people were smart and paid attention, but people are dumb, so you can have two contradictory songs on the radio.

The other Miguel single right now is Quickie.

So on one hand, you have a corny 90's sounding R&B style track about two people completing one another.  On the other hand you have a song with a reggae tinge that's all about quickies... And people are buying these singles?  Calling themselves fans?  The dude is presenting two radically different ideas of how he'd treat a potential partner.  One is a girl he'll stay with, who completes him.  The other is just a chick to sleep with, with no time for love.   Huh?!

Wake up people.  Demand a little quality and consistency from musicians.  Don't let them slide with this crap!

C.R.E.A.M.

This isn't a post about the classic Wu-Tang song, but this post does have to do with money.

Now, I'm not asking anyone for money for the blog.  This thing costs me nothing to produce or post.

However I will ask for you to donate to a charity.  If you have kids, godkids, neices or nephews who have ever been really sick, you've probably heard of Children's Miracle Network.  They do great things for sick kids.

To assist in their fundraising efforts, the fine folks at Sarcastic Gamer set up Extra Life,  24 hour gameathon, to raise money for CMN.  You pledge a little money (the usual minimum is $24, a dollar an hour of play time) and help me reach my goal.

I'm playing to raise money for Children's here in Atlanta.

Last year I did a live stream of the madness and had a party at my house to help me stay awake.  Donators will get the live stream link, and will be able to make me play any game for an hour (no matter how bad).  Make a donation and you can torture me!

I hope you'll consider helping me help CMN.  Click here to make a donation.

The event is in October, and I will be periodically making these posts.  The sooner I get to my goal, the quicker they end.

Lil' Wayne - How to Love

Awhile ago I wrote a post about sincerity in hip-hop. Some artists are believable when they do messages outside of their normal song style.

Lil' Wayne is NOT one of those people.

This a guy who ran around on a stage sininging about f'ing every girl in the world while his daughters were on stage with him.  This is a man who knows nothing about love.  With multiple kids from multiple women, he doesn't seem capable of holding down a relationship outside of sex partner.
The women who he's singing to in this song have been burned by players like him.  Suckers who fall for dudes with "swag" and charisma.
I guess if you add an acoustic guitar on top of a minimalist beat you can pass it off as a love song these days.

Do you ever find yourself liking what I hate?

Then let me point you to a blog run by a former coworker of mine.

Ememon

While it's not solely about music, his pop song reviews are almost always the opposite of mine.  It's an interesting counter point to my mostly negative view of the pop landscape.

I just wanted to give my friend a little plug, since often times you commentors will express that I'm an idiot for not liking a song (or in the case of Motivation, my dislike clearly shows my whiteness...?  How a song opinion expresses color is something I'll leave to cultural anthropologists.)

Pumpkinpaloosa!

Today did not start out very well, but I used music to help turn it around.  Aside from a little Childish Gambino, I listened to one of my all time favorite bands, The Smashing Pumpkins.  In celebration, I declared today Smashing Pumpkins day. 

I'd like to share some of my favorite Pumpkins songs with you.  To prevent this from being too huge, I'll try to keep it to one or two songs per album, though there will be a few tracks from non albums.  There will be some exceptions (I'm looking at you Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness), but I'll try and keep this relatively concise. 

People who haven't listened to them much can get a primer on the band, and fans can list some of their favorite tracks in the comments.

So without further ado, here we go!

1) There It Goes

I got ahold of this track when I downloaded the bootleg Mashed Potatoes Box Set.  An early track, I still enjoy it immensely.  A bit happy and a bit melancholy, it's simple and lovely at the same time. 

2) Siva

I dig the slightly rawer version from The Peel Sessions, but this is an excellent song from their first album Gish.

3) Bury Me

Not the best video, but I love Bury Me.  The layered riffs showed off early the multiple influences the Pumpkins guitar duo brought to the table.

4) Disarm

Siamese Dream was the follow up album to Gish, and launch the band to superstar status.  This was the third single off the album, and one of my favorite Pumpkins songs period.  The album is full of amazing songs, and many fans consider it the band's best work.   

5) Tonight, Tonight

Here's where a list gets difficult for me.  Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness was a 2 disc release, and is high on my favorite albums of all time list.  The concept album that covers a day (the discs are titled Dawn to Dusk and Twilight to Starlight), and so it's coherent but varied.  Most double disc albums seem stuffed with filler, but I find there are few tracks here that could be labeled throwaway.  Aside from this track and one other, I'll leave off the singles from this album, since those are perhaps too obvious as choices.)

This song is fantastic, led into perfectly by the instrumental track Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. 

6) To Forgive

I love the use of the organ here, and the lyrics were just fantastic and meaningful to 16 year old me when I first heard this album.  A nice, down tempo song that could easily lull me to a restful sleep.

7) Where Boys Fear To Tread

Just listen to that intro, quiet muted strumming, the kick drum, the gradual adding of instruments, the muting comes off, and the riff begins and launches us in to disc two.  Listen to that perfect fade out in to the noise that begins....

8) Bodies

I love the grinding insistence of the guitars on this track!  I find it great to run to, the brief slowdown at the 2 minute mark and then the jump back to the steady guitar is fantastic.

9) Thirty-Three

I hate to do three songs in a row, but the second disc of MCatIS just has this trio of awesome.  Two heavier songs give way to this sedate little jam. 

10) Behold! The Night Mare

Adore was the title of the next Pumpkins album, and it marked a stark shift in tone.  More electronic and less alternative, it shocked a lot of people.  It was still a great album, and this is one of my favorite tracks from it. 

11) Perfect

I've made valiant efforts to not pick singles, but I love Perfect.  There's just something so right about this track.  It's hopeful insistence in the face of dissolution of a relationship mark a stark tonal difference from previous albums which felt rather bleak.

12) The End is the Beginning is The End

The only good thing to come from Batman Forever!

13) Try, Try, Try (Alternate Version)

There's a version on the album MACHINA: The Machines of God, but the alternate track on the Untitled Single or Machina II is far, far better.  Track it down!

15) Age of Innocence

The final track from MACHINA: The Machines of God.

16) Tarantula

Following MACHINA, the Pumpkins disbanded.  They stayed inactive for 7 years.  Billy Corgan did a decent solo album and also put out one disc with Zwan.  I personally love the Zwan CD, since it sounded like a happy Smashing Pumpkins.  However, in 2007 Billy got his original drummer and reformed the Pumpkins.  This single from the album certainly had me hyped, and the resulting album Zeitgeist was actually decent.

17) (Come On) Let's Go

Sorry for the meh quality.  Snag the song on iTunes and enjoy it.


So, there you have it.  For a band whose first release came out 20 years ago, whittling it down to 17 songs wasn't easy.


*NOTE: The current Pumpkins release is being given away on their website for free, but I haven't listened to any of the 6 released tracks so far to recommend any. 

Charlie Boy Gang - Beef It Up

This needs to go viral for the comedy factor alone.  A few dudes with local print shop t-shirts and fake looking chains dance in front of an apartment complex and the local barbershop.  More crappy Atlanta music being pushed on local radio stations.

I think they're trying to push a new dance, but honestly, CBG all sound vaguely unintelligible because of thick accents.  A southern "Teach Me How To Dougie" I detest this stupid song.  Hopefully this will stay southern, and not get national attention, a la Future.

Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (TGIF)

Sax solo part 2!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!  I swear this should be a Ke$ha song.

"There's a stranger in my bed
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
Is this a hickie or a bruise"

Thanks Katy, I appreciate the song about you waking up with anonymous people in your bed.  I also wonder why glitter has suddenly become a part of so many songs.  Debauchery and drunkenness in song form, lovely.  This song is the aural form of televisions portrayal of teenagers and folks in their 20's as constant drunks whose every weekend is fodder for Texts From Last Night.


"Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled"

The only thing about the evening you remember are the embarrassing pictures that are on  the internet, and you just shrug it off and say your night ruled?  Do we really need this short sighted crap pushed in a song?  There are companies who monitor people on social media networks and present these findings like a background check for potential employers.  These nights that ruled, these nights you cannot remember can haunt you for the rest of your life.

"Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
Then got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
But this Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again"

Take a moment and read all that.  I'm sure many people go through a phase where they take too many shots and dance on tables, but then they grow up.  Perry doesn't want to grow up, she insists that Friday night's activities will be repeated.

Also, streaking and skinny dipping are dumb activities, but not really all that harmful (aside from the potential of being picked up by the police).  The next activity though, here it is again... THREESOMES.  Why are so many musical artists pushing this?  Threesomes aren't a normal activity!  I think more people are having them (or pursuing them) because they think everyone else is.

"Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
Ripped my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail"

Normal people can't celebrate stupid behavior with such reckless abandon.  If your car is towed, you can call a limo.  Your fans just can't get to work.  Normal people may not know what to tell their boss either, but I'm sure he would just say "YOU'RE FIRED!" because you got picked up by the cops and missed work.  Those maxed out credit cards don't help, either, not in this recession.
I don't think you should be so quick to write off ripped clothes.  If you're blackout drunk, you may have been assaulted.  This song marks the death of the phrase "epic fail." The songwriters slipped in ginger ale so they could rhyme in a phrase the kids think is hip.

This song sounds cutesy, but is insidious.  Break it down, and it's really a nasty song that celebrates destructive behavior.  Getting blackout drunk is just a phase for some kids, but for others, that drinking can lead to death or a lifetime struggle with alcoholism.  Where's the verse about your problems with drinking leading to a divorce and spending 90 days in a rehab facility following the intervention thrown by your few remaining friends?