Oh Rihanna, I'm surprised you're on your fifth album. When you first came out you made largely forgettable poppy, dancy music, and like most females in music today you started sexing it up to keep your status as a superstar.
I'm not against sexy music. I appreciate that music that.. well... that music that is for consenting adults doing adult activities. I have a problem when music like that is from artists that are aimed at teens. And Rihanna has always been aimed at teens. Though she has sexed up her image to appeal to adults, a large chunk of her fan base is younger. With my moralizing out of the way, I bring you today's song:
Oh na na? More like "Oh no no." Rihanna doesn't exactly have the greatest voice, and it's evident in the Oh na na opening to the song. I hear her say it and want to reach for the off switch. Not a great start, but more of a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of the song.
I know this is trying to be a sexy, flirty song. However, there is ZERO subtlety, and that is apparent from the opening lines from Drake.
"I heard you good with them soft lips
Yeah you know word of mouth
the square root of 69 is 8 something
cuz I've been tryna work it out, oooow"
Wow! What seductive technique you have their Drake, "the square root of 69 is 8 something." Hey ladies, Drake likes simultaneous oral sex. Nothing about loving the woman yet, he just wants to investigate the truth of what he's heard of her oral abilities. At this point, wouldn't most women just slap him or walk off? I don't know many women who would take "I've heard you give good oral sex and would like to sample your abilities" very well.
"good weed, white wine
I come alive in the night time
okay, away we go
only thing we have on is the radio
ooooh, let it play, say you gotta leave
but I know you wanna stay
you just waiting on the traffic jam to finish girl
the things we could do in twenty minutes girl
say my name, say my name
wear it out, its getting hot, crack a window, air it out
I can get you through a mighty long day
soon as you go the text that I write is gon say... "
Now Drake has slipped into the pedestrian, though I do give him props for the "only thing we have on in the radio" line. Points for cleverness, as it's the only stand out thing in the song thus far.
Rihanna's turn!
"Not everybody knows how to work my body
knows how to make me want it
but boy you stay up on it
you got that something that keeps me so off balance
baby you're a challenge, let's explore your talent"
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex. I should hope that not everyone knows how to work your body. How many people have tried to exactly? Beyond that point (lest I be accused of slut shaming for calling out a woman who puts her sexuality in to practice), her words boil the man down to his sexual function, his ability to inspire her libido.
What does the chorus have in store for us?
"hey boy I really wanna see if you can go downtown with a girl like me
hey boy, I really wanna be with you
cause you just my type"
-Go downtown... Rihanna is taking cues from Drake on lack-of-subtlety.
"Baby you got me, and ain't nowhere that I'd be
then with your arms around me
back and forth you rock me
so I surrender, to every word you whisper
every door you enter, I will let you in"
We get it Rihanna, you like sex with this guy, and you'll do anything. This is especially evident in the ultra-breathy utterance of "I will let you in". Coming right after "every door you enter" we all know exactly what she's not so subtly talking about.
"You're so amazing, you took the time to figure me out
that's why you take me, way past the point of turning me on
you bout to break me, I swear you got me losing my mind "
He took the time to figure you out. This is the first real time in the song the relationship between these people has been mentioned, and it's in the context of how that makes the sex better.
This is a song about sex. It's not a sexy song. Can you include some blatant declarations of the activities you want to engage in? Sure. But you need to BUILD to those. Start out with some musical wink, nod, nudge moments, before you get to the main event. Look at "Til the Cops Come Knockin'" by Maxwell. He starts off talking about rubbing her back and the first time he kissed her lips. The chorus is obvious, but tasteful. It's not until over half way through the song that anything blatant is mentioned ("Please you tease you eat, make you feel so good inside"). That's how you do it. Don't start off with talks about 69 and going downtown.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Keri Hilson - Pretty Girl Rock
Self esteem is a tricky topic to discuss. Encouraging people (particularly children) to feel good about themselves is important, but often times this is taken to extremes, leading people to have an overblown sense of self importance. The most recent world-wide comparison of American students to students in other countries found performance of US students was near the bottom, but their pride in self was the highest. They performed poorly, but thought very highly of themselves. It doesn't seem that our children are having many self-esteem issues.
My radio adventures today brought me to Keri Hilson's self love anthem "Pretty Girl Rock":
Where to start, where to start? How about the beginning?
"My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry looking at my derri-
erre, you can stare but if you touch it I'ma bury"
Ok, we've established who you are, that you consider yourself fly, and that your butt is so attractive that men want to marry you at a glance. I'm all for people feeling good about themselves, but saying you're so fly it's scary? That's a little over the top. What else is over the top? The idea of a butt that can inspire proposals.
"Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad cause I'm cuter than the girl that's witcha
I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me "
Now, Keri Hilson is an attractive woman, but so attractive that I get mad because she's more attractive than my wife? Laughable, and clearly a sign of delusion. Seriously, you can talk about it because you know you're pretty? You sound like the douchebags on Jersey Shore, their bravado and "swagger" which is merely a thin layer of protective emotional shell to shelter very, very shallow individuals. This is the kind of talk that we hear from that jerk who gets all the women in college. Is that supposed to be attractive coming from Ms. Hilson?
"All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful"
No question that you're a 10? Thinking of yourself as a 10 is one thing. Loudly declaring it is another thing entirely. Especially when that's really a subjective thing. There is no woman who is a universal 10. Looking at celebrities for example, I have a friend who thinks Jennifer Aniston is the hottest woman in Hollywood and I think Halley Berry is much more attractive. He doesn't think Halley is all that hot, and I wouldn't rate Aniston above a "cute."
I've also never heard of hating someone because they're so beautiful. I know it's a famous line in pop culture, but it's ridiculous. Perhaps it's more of a female on female issue? If that's so, then I question why it's in this song, since she herself said the song is about ""uniting women over their shared beauty rather than the jealousy that drives them apart."
"If you're looking for me you can catch me (pass by)
Cameras flashing
Bet he turned his head just as soon as I passed him
Girls think I'm conceited cause I know I'm attractive
Don't worry about what I think, why don't you ask him?"
Here again she taunts other women by stating the men in the room are looking at her and not their dates. Aren't we deviating from the goal of uniting women at this point?
"Get yourself together don't hate (never do it),
jealousy is the ugliest trait (don't ever do it)
I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me"
How can you expect others to not be jealous when you walk around boasting about how amazingly hot you are? How childish to attempt to engender jealousy, then tell people not to be jealous. LAME! This song, which on some level is supposed to make women feel good about themselves, really only works for ONE woman. Keri Hilson.
FAIL!
My radio adventures today brought me to Keri Hilson's self love anthem "Pretty Girl Rock":
Where to start, where to start? How about the beginning?
"My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry looking at my derri-
erre, you can stare but if you touch it I'ma bury"
Ok, we've established who you are, that you consider yourself fly, and that your butt is so attractive that men want to marry you at a glance. I'm all for people feeling good about themselves, but saying you're so fly it's scary? That's a little over the top. What else is over the top? The idea of a butt that can inspire proposals.
"Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad cause I'm cuter than the girl that's witcha
I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me "
Now, Keri Hilson is an attractive woman, but so attractive that I get mad because she's more attractive than my wife? Laughable, and clearly a sign of delusion. Seriously, you can talk about it because you know you're pretty? You sound like the douchebags on Jersey Shore, their bravado and "swagger" which is merely a thin layer of protective emotional shell to shelter very, very shallow individuals. This is the kind of talk that we hear from that jerk who gets all the women in college. Is that supposed to be attractive coming from Ms. Hilson?
"All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful"
No question that you're a 10? Thinking of yourself as a 10 is one thing. Loudly declaring it is another thing entirely. Especially when that's really a subjective thing. There is no woman who is a universal 10. Looking at celebrities for example, I have a friend who thinks Jennifer Aniston is the hottest woman in Hollywood and I think Halley Berry is much more attractive. He doesn't think Halley is all that hot, and I wouldn't rate Aniston above a "cute."
I've also never heard of hating someone because they're so beautiful. I know it's a famous line in pop culture, but it's ridiculous. Perhaps it's more of a female on female issue? If that's so, then I question why it's in this song, since she herself said the song is about ""uniting women over their shared beauty rather than the jealousy that drives them apart."
"If you're looking for me you can catch me (pass by)
Cameras flashing
Bet he turned his head just as soon as I passed him
Girls think I'm conceited cause I know I'm attractive
Don't worry about what I think, why don't you ask him?"
Here again she taunts other women by stating the men in the room are looking at her and not their dates. Aren't we deviating from the goal of uniting women at this point?
"Get yourself together don't hate (never do it),
jealousy is the ugliest trait (don't ever do it)
I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me"
How can you expect others to not be jealous when you walk around boasting about how amazingly hot you are? How childish to attempt to engender jealousy, then tell people not to be jealous. LAME! This song, which on some level is supposed to make women feel good about themselves, really only works for ONE woman. Keri Hilson.
FAIL!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
New Feature! Good Tune Thursday Bruno Mars - Grenade
I've decided that I don't need to be 100% negative on this blog. While the primary purpose is to make fun of terrible music, every now and then a good song does end up on the radio. To highlight these songs, I've decided to implement "Good Tune Thursday." The name may change, but the idea remains. Point out a good song I hear on my Thursday drive home.
Checking the Billboard Hot 100 today (Jan 27, 2011), I see this song is on top of the charts, sitting pretty at number 1. For once, I can say I like the number one song in America!
(This time, I'm just gonna post a link to the lyrics. Since I'm not tearing the song apart, I'm not gonna closely examine each verse. Instead, I'm gonna give my general thoughts.)
When I first heard this song, I actually disliked it. I thought, "here's this song, and this guy has it BAD for a girl who doesn't reciprocate his feelings. PATHETIC! He would catch a beat down for her, and she doesn't care."
...Then I listened to it a few more times. First off, I really like the beat. It's got a nice sound to it, it's not harsh and grating or annoying like so many songs are. I also really dig the song's sentiment. At it's core, it's about a guy who would do anything (up to and including DIE) for his woman.
How often to we hear declarations of love in pop music today? There are plenty of songs singing the praises of a woman's looks, paying attention to her curves and letting everyone who will listen know that you want to bed her. Not this song. This is about a lover scorned, still analyzing what went wrong. He cared. She said she did, but lied about it. He's obviously mad at her (calling her a demon essentially at one point), but still frustrated by the lack of balance in how deep their feelings go. Who can't relate to that? Relationships usually function with some give and take, a union of equals. Being on the "cares too much" end can really suck. This songs sums that up quite well.
So, kudos to you Mr. Mars. You are the first recipient of a good write up on this blog! Now, let's see which day of the week your future single end up on.
Checking the Billboard Hot 100 today (Jan 27, 2011), I see this song is on top of the charts, sitting pretty at number 1. For once, I can say I like the number one song in America!
(This time, I'm just gonna post a link to the lyrics. Since I'm not tearing the song apart, I'm not gonna closely examine each verse. Instead, I'm gonna give my general thoughts.)
When I first heard this song, I actually disliked it. I thought, "here's this song, and this guy has it BAD for a girl who doesn't reciprocate his feelings. PATHETIC! He would catch a beat down for her, and she doesn't care."
...Then I listened to it a few more times. First off, I really like the beat. It's got a nice sound to it, it's not harsh and grating or annoying like so many songs are. I also really dig the song's sentiment. At it's core, it's about a guy who would do anything (up to and including DIE) for his woman.
How often to we hear declarations of love in pop music today? There are plenty of songs singing the praises of a woman's looks, paying attention to her curves and letting everyone who will listen know that you want to bed her. Not this song. This is about a lover scorned, still analyzing what went wrong. He cared. She said she did, but lied about it. He's obviously mad at her (calling her a demon essentially at one point), but still frustrated by the lack of balance in how deep their feelings go. Who can't relate to that? Relationships usually function with some give and take, a union of equals. Being on the "cares too much" end can really suck. This songs sums that up quite well.
So, kudos to you Mr. Mars. You are the first recipient of a good write up on this blog! Now, let's see which day of the week your future single end up on.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Waka Flocka Flame - No Hands
So far I've covered two pop songs and a soft rock song, and now I turn my sights to another genre with the following little ditty:
Oh boy, this is gonna be fun.
Currently number 14 on the Billboard Top 100, this gem from Waka Flocka Flame is burning up the airwaves in Atlanta. I hear it every single day in the 20 to 30 minutes I'm driving home every evening. I know many people love this song, but let's take a look at this lyrical masterpiece.
"Girl the way you movin' got me in a trance
Dj turn me up ladies this yo jam (Come on)
Imma sip muscato and you gon' loose them pants
And Imma throw this money while you do it with no hands
Girl drop it to the floor I love the way yo booty goooo
All I wanna do is sit back and watch you move and I'll proceed to throw this cash"
Ah yes, another ode to lude and lascivious stripper dancing. We start with an artist reminding you that this your jam, your favorite song! If this is a new song, how do you know it's anyone's favorite? Next we come to the obligatory alcohol reference, only this time we hear about muscato wine instead of Patron or Grey Goose. Is this rap trying to be a little classy? Annnddd... no. Because our next line is about throwing money at the dancers. Grown men, hypnotized by nude women, throwing money away. A sad, sad commentary about behavior today.
Now that the chorus is out of the way, let's look at the genius of one Mr Waka Flocka Flame.
"All that ass in yo jeans kid Wale me
can Wale Beat? can Roscoe skeet?
Long hair she don't care
When she walks she gets this
Brown skin or a yellow bone
DJ this my favorite song
So Imma make it thunderstorm"
What's to say? Mr. Flame sets up that fact that Wale and Roscoe are on the song, and that he likes black women of all skin tones. This is actually a bit progressive for a rapper today, since they all seem to prefer women with lighter skin tones. Here again we hear about this being a favorite song, and a renewed declaration about throwing money!
"Flood warning Flocka yeah throw it f*ck it I don't care
Glasses flying everywhere
tap my partna Roscoe like bruh I'm drunk as hell
Can't you tell, goose we been spent fifty stacks so f*ck it
Well I'm tryna to hit the hotel with two girls that's swallowin
Take this d*ck and swallow bay mascato got her freaky
Hey you got me in a trance, you take of yo pants
p*ssy poppin' on a handstand you got me sweating please pass me a fan D*MN!"
Gang affiliation, alcohol consumption, obligatory Grey Goose reference. Notice that Mr. Flame is trying to get two girls. In the past few years I've noticed an increased reference to threesomes in music. No longer banished to the pages of the Penthouse Forum or porno movies, they're now mentioned in pop culture all the time. Are people having them more often? Clearly Waka is no gentleman, since his only desire is to find two wide awake girls who will swallow... shouldn't women be boycotting this song en masse?
Now moving on, we get our verse from Wale.
"She said look ma no hands, she said look ma no hands
And no darlin' I don't dance
and I'm wit Roscoe I'm with Waka
I think I deserve a chance
Imma bad motha f*cka
go and ask them mothaf*ckas
A young handsome mothaf*cka
I slang that wood I just nunchuck'em
And who you with and what's your name
are you not hip boo I'm Wale
And that DC sh*t I rep all day
and my eyes red cause of all that haze
Don't blow my high let me shine
drumma on da beat let me take my time
N*gga want beef we can take it outside
f*ck it what broad these hoes ain't mine
Is you out yo mind, you out yo league
I sweat no b*tches that sweat out weaves
Wear out tracks let me do my thing,
I got sixteen for this Roscoe thing
But I'm almost done let me get back to it
Hold lot of loud and a lil bag would,
whole lotta money big tip by wood
I put it on a train little engine could
B*TCH!"
Wow, such, such beautiful poetry! You're a bad MFer (thanks for pointing it out repeatedly). You "nunchuck" women with your wood, and you like to get high. NEXT!
"R-o-s-c-o-e Mr.Shawty Put in On Me
I be going ham shorty upgrade from bologna
Them n*ggas tippin' good girl but I can make it flood
'Cause I walk around with pockets that are bigger than my buzz
Rain rain go away that's what all my haters say
My pockets stuck on overload my rain never evaporate
No need to elaborate most of these ducks exaggerate
But Imma get money n*gga every day stuntin, n*gga duck might get a chance after me
I'ma baller like I'm commin' off a free throw, get your head in the game no cheat codes
Lambo Roscoe no street code 'cause yo booty go me lost like Nemo,
go go go g-gone and do yo dance
And imma throw this money while you do it wit no hands GO!
What sets Roscoe apart from the rest? He can spell his name! Aside from that, he's a repeat of the last two verses. I've got more money than you, and he's going to throw it at strippers while he's high!
These are the up and coming rappers of today? Nas was right. Hip-hop is dead.
(Thank you to anonymous commentors for lyric corrections)
Oh boy, this is gonna be fun.
Currently number 14 on the Billboard Top 100, this gem from Waka Flocka Flame is burning up the airwaves in Atlanta. I hear it every single day in the 20 to 30 minutes I'm driving home every evening. I know many people love this song, but let's take a look at this lyrical masterpiece.
"Girl the way you movin' got me in a trance
Dj turn me up ladies this yo jam (Come on)
Imma sip muscato and you gon' loose them pants
And Imma throw this money while you do it with no hands
Girl drop it to the floor I love the way yo booty goooo
All I wanna do is sit back and watch you move and I'll proceed to throw this cash"
Ah yes, another ode to lude and lascivious stripper dancing. We start with an artist reminding you that this your jam, your favorite song! If this is a new song, how do you know it's anyone's favorite? Next we come to the obligatory alcohol reference, only this time we hear about muscato wine instead of Patron or Grey Goose. Is this rap trying to be a little classy? Annnddd... no. Because our next line is about throwing money at the dancers. Grown men, hypnotized by nude women, throwing money away. A sad, sad commentary about behavior today.
Now that the chorus is out of the way, let's look at the genius of one Mr Waka Flocka Flame.
"All that ass in yo jeans kid Wale me
can Wale Beat? can Roscoe skeet?
Long hair she don't care
When she walks she gets this
Brown skin or a yellow bone
DJ this my favorite song
So Imma make it thunderstorm"
What's to say? Mr. Flame sets up that fact that Wale and Roscoe are on the song, and that he likes black women of all skin tones. This is actually a bit progressive for a rapper today, since they all seem to prefer women with lighter skin tones. Here again we hear about this being a favorite song, and a renewed declaration about throwing money!
"Flood warning Flocka yeah throw it f*ck it I don't care
Glasses flying everywhere
tap my partna Roscoe like bruh I'm drunk as hell
Can't you tell, goose we been spent fifty stacks so f*ck it
Well I'm tryna to hit the hotel with two girls that's swallowin
Take this d*ck and swallow bay mascato got her freaky
Hey you got me in a trance, you take of yo pants
p*ssy poppin' on a handstand you got me sweating please pass me a fan D*MN!"
Gang affiliation, alcohol consumption, obligatory Grey Goose reference. Notice that Mr. Flame is trying to get two girls. In the past few years I've noticed an increased reference to threesomes in music. No longer banished to the pages of the Penthouse Forum or porno movies, they're now mentioned in pop culture all the time. Are people having them more often? Clearly Waka is no gentleman, since his only desire is to find two wide awake girls who will swallow... shouldn't women be boycotting this song en masse?
Now moving on, we get our verse from Wale.
"She said look ma no hands, she said look ma no hands
And no darlin' I don't dance
and I'm wit Roscoe I'm with Waka
I think I deserve a chance
Imma bad motha f*cka
go and ask them mothaf*ckas
A young handsome mothaf*cka
I slang that wood I just nunchuck'em
And who you with and what's your name
are you not hip boo I'm Wale
And that DC sh*t I rep all day
and my eyes red cause of all that haze
Don't blow my high let me shine
drumma on da beat let me take my time
N*gga want beef we can take it outside
f*ck it what broad these hoes ain't mine
Is you out yo mind, you out yo league
I sweat no b*tches that sweat out weaves
Wear out tracks let me do my thing,
I got sixteen for this Roscoe thing
But I'm almost done let me get back to it
Hold lot of loud and a lil bag would,
whole lotta money big tip by wood
I put it on a train little engine could
B*TCH!"
Wow, such, such beautiful poetry! You're a bad MFer (thanks for pointing it out repeatedly). You "nunchuck" women with your wood, and you like to get high. NEXT!
"R-o-s-c-o-e Mr.Shawty Put in On Me
I be going ham shorty upgrade from bologna
Them n*ggas tippin' good girl but I can make it flood
'Cause I walk around with pockets that are bigger than my buzz
Rain rain go away that's what all my haters say
My pockets stuck on overload my rain never evaporate
No need to elaborate most of these ducks exaggerate
But Imma get money n*gga every day stuntin, n*gga duck might get a chance after me
I'ma baller like I'm commin' off a free throw, get your head in the game no cheat codes
Lambo Roscoe no street code 'cause yo booty go me lost like Nemo,
go go go g-gone and do yo dance
And imma throw this money while you do it wit no hands GO!
What sets Roscoe apart from the rest? He can spell his name! Aside from that, he's a repeat of the last two verses. I've got more money than you, and he's going to throw it at strippers while he's high!
These are the up and coming rappers of today? Nas was right. Hip-hop is dead.
(Thank you to anonymous commentors for lyric corrections)
Pink - Raise Your Glass
Tuesday was kind enough to bring me the following:
Currently number 8 on the Billboard 100, we have another song from Pink, following the same formula she's used since her debut back in 2000 - quasi-rock/pop with a driving beat and forgettable lyrics - with one change. Actual memorable lyrics!
So, has Pink finally honed her craft? No. Instead, she's become even dumber than before. Take a look:
"Right right, turn off the lights
We gonna lose our minds tonight
What's the dealio?"
What's the dealio? This is in the first three lines of your song? We've started off dumb, but let's see what comes next.
"Party crasher, panty snatcher
Call me up if you're a gangsta'
Don't be fancy
Just get dancey
Why so serious?"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Go listen to this little pre-chorus. Listen to her say "Call me up if you're a gangsta.'" Nonononononono. It doesn't really sound right in the rhyme scheme, and she sounds ridiculous saying it. Then she rhymes fancy with dancey. It's so infantile, so... so... stupid that it hurts my head.
Finally, I want to address the "why so serious?" line. It seems to be a motif of current songs. Everyone wants to be a wanton party animal, not thinking.
Now check out the chorus:
"So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!"
Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, Pink is glorifying the freak and underdog. No longer do people try and adjust to social norms (or form small cliques to defend against the hatred of the majority), now they let their freak flag fly. With so many people championing the freaks and underdogs, it's not like they're unsung or in the shadows. How many oddball anthems do we need? Look, I'm not saving that everyone needs to conform and be the same. I'm just having trouble understanding why this theme is coming to the forefront of music today.
"Slam slam oh hot d*mn
What part of party don't you understand?
Wish you'd just freak out (freak out already)
Can't stop coming in hot
I should be locked up right on the spot
It's so on right now (so f*ckin' on right now)"
Blah, blah, blah... we get it Pink. You like to party. How much more of this do we have to endure? A few declarations that we should raise our glasses and drink. (Like the target audience of Pink needs more encouragement to drink - Four Loko, anybody?)
"So if you're too school for cool (I mean...)
And you're treated like a fool (treated like a fool)
You could choose to let it go
We can always, we can always
party on our own..."
Repetitive, repetitive, repetitive. You're uncool, just party!
That's the whole of the song. You're an uncool freak, just drink and party. This is "We R Who We R" with slightly different lyrics.
Currently number 8 on the Billboard 100, we have another song from Pink, following the same formula she's used since her debut back in 2000 - quasi-rock/pop with a driving beat and forgettable lyrics - with one change. Actual memorable lyrics!
So, has Pink finally honed her craft? No. Instead, she's become even dumber than before. Take a look:
"Right right, turn off the lights
We gonna lose our minds tonight
What's the dealio?"
What's the dealio? This is in the first three lines of your song? We've started off dumb, but let's see what comes next.
"Party crasher, panty snatcher
Call me up if you're a gangsta'
Don't be fancy
Just get dancey
Why so serious?"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Go listen to this little pre-chorus. Listen to her say "Call me up if you're a gangsta.'" Nonononononono. It doesn't really sound right in the rhyme scheme, and she sounds ridiculous saying it. Then she rhymes fancy with dancey. It's so infantile, so... so... stupid that it hurts my head.
Finally, I want to address the "why so serious?" line. It seems to be a motif of current songs. Everyone wants to be a wanton party animal, not thinking.
Now check out the chorus:
"So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!"
Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, Pink is glorifying the freak and underdog. No longer do people try and adjust to social norms (or form small cliques to defend against the hatred of the majority), now they let their freak flag fly. With so many people championing the freaks and underdogs, it's not like they're unsung or in the shadows. How many oddball anthems do we need? Look, I'm not saving that everyone needs to conform and be the same. I'm just having trouble understanding why this theme is coming to the forefront of music today.
"Slam slam oh hot d*mn
What part of party don't you understand?
Wish you'd just freak out (freak out already)
Can't stop coming in hot
I should be locked up right on the spot
It's so on right now (so f*ckin' on right now)"
Blah, blah, blah... we get it Pink. You like to party. How much more of this do we have to endure? A few declarations that we should raise our glasses and drink. (Like the target audience of Pink needs more encouragement to drink - Four Loko, anybody?)
"So if you're too school for cool (I mean...)
And you're treated like a fool (treated like a fool)
You could choose to let it go
We can always, we can always
party on our own..."
Repetitive, repetitive, repetitive. You're uncool, just party!
That's the whole of the song. You're an uncool freak, just drink and party. This is "We R Who We R" with slightly different lyrics.
The Script - Breakeven
After a run in with Ke$ha on Friday, I had a weekend of respite from bad radio. The work week has come, which means my project continues.
Today I was flipping through the airwaves and came upon the following gem:
Bland, tepid, milquetoast. All perfect words to describe this year old single from The Script. According to wikipedia, they’re a soft-rock band from Dublin, Ireland. All I heard was a wimpy man whining about a break up like he is in middle school.
“I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don’t believe in
‘Cause I got time while she got freedom
‘Cause when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven”
Just prayed to a God that I don’t believe in
‘Cause I got time while she got freedom
‘Cause when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven”
Talk of barely breathing? Doesn’t this make you think of something from the diary of an 8th grade girl? When a heart breaks it don’t break even? I wouldn’t be surprised if that is still showing up on Facebook statuses after awkard young break ups. I also don’t really appreciate the “God I don’t believe in” line. What point does it serve in the song? If you don’t believe, then be brave enough to not even pretend to pray.
“Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that’s gonna put her first
While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping
‘Cause when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven, even, no”
She finally met a man that’s gonna put her first
While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping
‘Cause when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven, even, no”
If you can realize that you weren’t putting her first, then why didn’t you fix thatwhile you were still together?
“What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I’m all choked up and you’re okay”
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I’m all choked up and you’re okay”
“The best part of me was always you?” I can’t believe you can write drivel like this and get a record deal and multi-national distribution. You’re such an empty person, that a girlfriend who you ignored was the best part of you? You have a lot of personal growth to do.
“They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven, even, no”
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven, even, no”
The lyrics sound like someone died. I understand it’s a metaphor for the death of a relationship, but you’re grieving and bleeding? Grow up. I had a bad breakup in high school, and I think I would have written something like this then. But I’ve been out of high school for 10 years. This is something that Justin Beiber should be singing, not a grown man.
“You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I’m tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
‘Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name”
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I’m tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
‘Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name”
She got none of the pain? Were you really that terrible of a boyfriend? Earlier you told us about how you didn’t put her first, so I suppose it’s possible that she was all too happy to leave you. Perhaps instead of whining about it after the fact, you could work on your relationship skills so you’re not so devastated when she leaves you because you’re a jerk.
Ke$ha - We R Who We R
The ride home on Jan 21st, 2011 brings us the following disaster:
Yes, “We R Who We R” by Ke$ha.
By now, everyone in America (except for prehaps my parents) has heard at least one song by Ke$ha. Dressing in the latest hobo fashions, this “artist” has blown on to the scene with trashy party anthems, starting with Tik Tok in 2009. How she has managed to parlay her minimal talents into platinum success is beyond me. (Wikipedia has her album Animal selling 1,161,600 units.)
While I’ve heard chunks of this song before, looking for content for this blog has led me to listen to the entire blasted thing. It was a shoe in for Today’s Bad Song because I ended up hearing it a second time while scanning the airwaves.
I know I talked about ripping apart the lyrics to songs I heard, but here’s the problem with a Ke$ha song… there aren’t any. The song is primarily chorus, a chorus that looks like this:
“Tonight we’re going har-har-har-har-har-hard
Just like the world is our-our-our-our-our-ours
We’re tearin’ it apar-par-par-par-par-part
You know we’re superstars
We are who we are
We’re dancing like we’re dumb-dumb-du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies go numb-numb-nu-nu-nu-numb
We’ll be forever young-young-y-y-y-young
You know we’re superstars
We are who we are”
You know we’re superstars
We are who we are
We’re dancing like we’re dumb-dumb-du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies go numb-numb-nu-nu-nu-numb
We’ll be forever young-young-y-y-y-young
You know we’re superstars
We are who we are”
Seriously? This song is getting airplay? No Ke$ha, you will NOT be forever young, especially not if you live life thinking you’re a superstar, all the while dancing like an idiot until you go numb.
At one point she describes her ripped up stockings and glittery makeup as “sick and sexy-fied.” Well, you honestly do look sick, but I don’t know of anyone who has looked as Ke$ha and described her as “sexy.” I’ve heard greasy, skanky and dirty, but never sexy.
“I’m just talkin’ truth
I’m telling you ‘bout the sh*t we do
We’re sellin’ our clothes, sleepin’ in cars
Dressin’ it down, hittin’ on dudes, hard ”
We’re sellin’ our clothes, sleepin’ in cars
Dressin’ it down, hittin’ on dudes, hard ”
You sell your clothes and sleep in cars? You know who else does those things? HOBOS! Ke$ha is glamorizing the life of a hobo. When you’ve been drinking Thunderbird like I’m convinced Ke$ha does, I’m sure you’d think glittery eye makeup was a good idea too.
“DJ turn it up It’s about damn time to live it up
I’m so sick of being so serious
It’s making my brain delirious”
I’m so sick of being so serious
It’s making my brain delirious”
Looking at the previous lyrics, I don’t think that Ke$ha has been serious a single moment in her life. I believe the Thunderbird is the real cause of her delirium.
As of today, Jan 21st, this song is number 7 on Billboard’s Hot 100. It peaked at number 1, and has been on the chart for 12 weeks. I don’t understand who her music continues to be listened to and sell. It’s not overtly sexual, it’s not violent, it’s just stupid. Offensively stupid.
As a side note, I think I’m going to list what else I heard (and Soundhound can identify) on the days I make a post. That way you can see the junk I subject myself too and get a glimpse into future posts. (Occasionally I hear some good songs, today was not one of those days.)
Waka Flocka Flame - No Hands
Linkin Park - In The End
Chris Brown - Yeah 3X
Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow
Birdman - Fire Flame
What is Today's Bad Song all about?
Today’s Bad Song is a blog idea I just had in the car on my way home from work. The music landscape today is pretty awful, filled with untalented singers and samey-sounding beats. Content wise, it’s pretty awful too (apparently subtlety and innuendo are a lost art). What I’m gonna do is subject myself to the radio on my drive home from work (usually around 30 minutes). I’ll use Soundhound to identify the worst song I hear. Then I’ll write about it here.
I think it will be fun to rip apart the lack of talent and inane lyrics. I’m sure it will be entertaining.
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