I was almost home. I was mentally composing a Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough tear down, and I hit the change station button and heard... this:
Why?!?! I've been writing this blog for three weeks now, and each week I've had my ear assaulted by one Travis Porter song after the next. Make it Rain, Bring it Back, and now Go Shorty Go.
Before I get into the "lyrics" of this song, can I just say that Justin Beiber has a deeper voice than this prepubescent sounding rapper. Geez, his voice is just... nasally and high pitched and irritating to listen hear.
"I was walking through the crowd and I seen her with her team
I tapped her on the shoulder and said girl I like them jeans
I told her,go shorty shorty go, shorty shorty go!
ahh goooooo, go shorty shorty go, shorty shorty go
she was dancing like a stripper so I had to throw some ones
she winked her eye at me and said its time to have some fun
I told her,go shorty shorty go, shorty shorty go!
ahh goooooo, go shorty shorty go, shorty shorty go"
This is in the running with "Pretty Boy Swag" for most annoying chorus of all time. Also, he throws money at a random woman. I repeat he throws money at a random woman. She might have been dancing like a stripper, but that doesn't mean she is one.
"hopped off the stage
walked through the crowd
drunker than a white boy
blowin on that loud
shorty said something
but the music was too loud
I told her come here
girl get out this crowd
and uhh
bring your team
come fu*k with my team
tell the waitress 4 bottles of goose and 30 wings
and now she all up on me wisperin these dirty things"
So he's trying to hit on the girl in question and orders chicken wings... not exactly a food to be chowing down on while trying to attract a girl. Seriously, watch someone eat chicken wings. No one can do that and not get grease and sauce on their hands and face. Also, isn't 4 bottle of Grey Goose vodka a little much? I don't know how many people are on their respective "teams," but that sounds like a recipe for alcohol poisoning.
"want me to make her sing
just like da birdy sings, la la la la
lip ring tongue ring, girl you a freak
wink a eye at me and said bring quez and li
TRAVYYYY
ok cool shorty we gon party round three
and now I got tha whole team screamin, TRAVYYYYY!"
I'm not exactly sure what is going on here. Perhaps it's bad internet lyrics, but "want to make her sing just like da birdy sings" doesn't mean anything!
"wassup, wassup, girl wat u gon do to me
tell your friends we got bottles so come meet me in V.I.P.
i told her that i want her and i asked her "can i have her?"
booty lookin big i hope you dont mind if i grab ya
cuz i came just ta
have fun and a
I took her home and I smashed her and then im done with her
cause this happens every night, oooooo yeaa yeaa!"
It's like open mic night at a drunken frat party. Drunk guy offers alcohol, grabs rump, has one night stand. Repeat. Most guys who are out for one night stands like to at least offer the illusion that they care, but not Travis Porter. He publicly admits to being a serial hit and quit artist.
"go shorty shorty go shorty shorty goooo
I know I seen you shorty shorty in this club before
I was walkin round the club cause i aint have nuthin to dooo
I tapped her on the shoulder and said girl i like them trues
she was dancin like she worked at magic city
said her name was tasha and her home-girl name was brittany
man started callin so you know we got 40s
so I told her go
man that was for encouragement!
I told ha go go!"
I figured in verse three we would at least hear a little something interesting to finish off the song, but it's more of the same. The girl dances like a stripper, and you want to bang her. We got it after the opening chorus.
I don't understand the constant spins this one gets. The chorus is gratingly nasal, the lyrics are stupid, and the beat is weak. Oh how I long for Thursday, when I can skip over crap like this and listen to something that doesn't cause brain and ear damage.
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